This isn’t supposed to be easy…

 

Come see us at our new home!

Solo parenting is hard, yo.

My husband has just returned from a 6-day hunting trip 7.5 hours away. I took two days off work, wrapped those around a weekend and tried to maintain some level of sanity. I was only mildly successful.

I just feel…drained. Like 100% spent. And this didn’t just happen last night. At the end of every single day I had nothing left to give. I could not pick up one more dish, pack one more lunch, brush one more tooth. I would crawl into bed, turn on The Comedy Network awaiting The Daily Show and never make it. I never woke rested, instead I spent the entire night barely asleep, knowing I was the only one to hear a cry or a call out after a bad dream. This one wants oatmeal for breakfast, that one is crying that we have no waffles left. And let’s not even talk about the mess. Oh the mess.

My question, mid-day of every day was this: how do single parents DO this?? I knew I had an end-point. I only had to make it to Wednesday. To know that this pattern is repeated, ad nauseum…I just don’t honestly know.

And then we watched some Law & Order show last night with some lady who spent her life taking care of her sick sister and I thought: man, how do they do it? How do you give of yourself day after day after day and still have more to give?

Am I broken that I can’t do that? That I reach a point at which there really is nothing left and I retreat? I feel like my bucket of awesome-momness isn’t as full as other people’s. And I’m really not sure how I feel about that. I know that Ryan and I, together, are great parents to those Ladies. TOGETHER. But I’m not sure I’m so great at it by myself. I don’t like to compare parenting, so that’s not what I’m doing here. I don’t think my life looks like anyone else’s and I don’t want it to, honestly. But I do think that I reach the point of “I just can’t” more frequently. Or do I? Does everyone feel this way and just not say it?

Please excuse the emo post today. I just need to rally back. Let’s start here:

Pinned Image

…better.

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6 thoughts on “This isn’t supposed to be easy…

  1. I think the difference between single moms and us coupled-moms is that we DO have an end in sight. When we are home alone with the kids, we keep a countdown of “how much longer.” Single moms don’t have that same countdown. They make it work, because they have to for however long. We eke by, waiting for our time to be up, without getting into any sort of pattern.

    That said, OMG how do single moms do it?!

  2. I love this post! Although we’ve never had to go through a deployment, my husband is in the Army and has had to be away from home for weeks at a time. It’s hard, but you’d be amazed at how quickly you get used to doing it on your own. At the same time I alsO have to give major props to women or men who do it all by themselves all the time – that shit is tough

  3. Hmmmm! Interesting!!! I seem to see old history repeating itself. It amazes me how much that six year old reminds me of some six year old I remember, when we were bringing up our kids. Stories that went on endlessly, recounting every detail, and adding many. Long explanations for every question we might ask! If you ask me(and I know you didn’t) the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She is you, and you are her! Keep up the good work, this blog makes me laugh along with you.

  4. Okay okay. So my husband travels for work. He travels anywhere from 25-75% on any given month. He has actually taken two week international trips where we don’t speak more than 1-2 times. It suuuuuuccccckkkksss.

    But here’s the thing. It’s my normal. I mean, he was on a business trip when I had three month old twins with a 10 day vomiting virus. I just had to suck it up and deal with it. And since he’s gone, I have a whole routine for our life when he is gone because we have been doing it so long.

    When he has a long stretch when he does not travel, it is actually HARDER because we are off our normal rhythm. Does that make sense? So it makes sense you would be exhausted bc it’s not your normal routine.

    Anyway I recently had my sixth year blogiversary and asked everyone their favorite posts. BY FAR the craziest shit happened when Jon is gone. Here you go:
    http://jonandlaura.blogspot.com/2011/10/sixth-blogiversary-winner.html

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