Team Edward, but with better bed-breaking please.

So let’s just admit what needs admitting: I have failed NaBloPoMo. I blogged every.fracking.day for 25 days and then fail…massive, three days of fail. Cause if you’re gonna go down, you might as well crash AND burn, amIright? I was sad about it for like a minute. Then I wasn’t anymore. It’s a fascinating story, I know you’re riveted.

But now? THINGS! Things to blog about! Excitement! Jumps for joy! Thrills and spills at every turn! Or just a few nights out which haven’t happened in far too long. (See? I blog as entertainment for myself. That is probably supposed to be a sad commentary but I like to create my own fun so I don’t so much mind.) And now?…I’m about to discuss sex. All the easily offended should probably be leaving. Naow.

I'm Team Edward. This is my joking face.

I went to see Breaking Dawn last night. Yes, I’m 29. Yes, I realize it’s for teeny-boppers. No, I don’t give a shit. Sexual tension translates to any age group, ahem. And speaking of sexual tension, thanks to goodness this movie delivered on the hotness. (listen Mom & Dad, I warned you. And it’s about to get worse before it gets better. Click away.) But here’s the thing. All Twi-hards were looking forward to the breaking of the bed scene. And instead of making it mega-hot and swoony, it was a corny snap of a cheap-as-shit headboard and I laughed out loud. Laughed. At a sex scene. ::shake my head:: Now there were some endearing scenes of love as well, which I appreciated. Edward makes me blush most when he’s smiling & witty & smoldering. Also, and I’m not going to blog spoilers here, but the werewolf scenes are kind of cheeseball and laughable and dumbed down the movie a little for me. (yes, I know I shouldn’t be surprised that a Twilight movie was dumbed down, but I thought the first two were much more well done in this department. That’s all.)

And the birth scene? I’ve naturally delivered three children and that shit scared me to death. I watched through chick vision (hands in front of eyes, fingers spread apart, if you didn’t know…) But the baby is hella-cute and my ovaries did that kind of thumping thing…and then I reminded them that the left one is being a bitch right now with it’s good friend: the cyst, and everyone just calmed the hell down in there. (Sidebar: ovarian cysts can go straight to hell in a fiery chariot of dog shit.)

All in all, I was glad for my Team Edward fix, Kristin Stewart was all kinds of lovely in it (that dress? swoon!) and Jacob Black was looking FOINE. Sexy as all hell with the scruff and the smolder and the yum.

Truth be told? Our impromptu date night Saturday with our friends was the highlight of my NaBloPoMo break. I saw another high school teacher- are they stalking me? (My high school graduating class was 12 people, folks. Seeing anyone at any time from there is a shot in the dark.) Mr. Harcarufka for those who know Harrow High. Weird. But probably more so for him when one of his former students saunters up to him half-drunk at a bar talking about being married for six years and having three kids and he looks like he’s about to faint or upchuck. You’re welcome.

Local people? I have a challenge for you upcoming this week. I need your help. Stay tuned.

The rest of you, I’m glad to be back here. Are you happy to see me?

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3 thoughts on “Team Edward, but with better bed-breaking please.

  1. I like the 1st Twilight the best, something about low budget movies (seemed low budget anyway) Also! I have the same bedspread as Bella Swan and I got it before her at Target, lol. That is all.
    (PS Team Jacob)

  2. HAHAHA….well, I was with you so ditto??????…still embarrassed about the talking warewolves and high five to me for the pic….10 times better than the first one taken…#jusssayin ;)

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