I say it out loud. In public.
<cue horrified shocked face>
I say it because I mean it.
I say it because, in the spirit of the season, I genuinely want you to have a happy whatever-the-hell-you-celebrate-that-makes-you-happy-and-fulfilled.
That said, I almost cuffed a lady in a store last night for saying Merry Christmas to the cashier. Because after that sweet sentiment passed her lips, it was followed maliciously by: “I don’t care, I’m gonna say it. I celebrate Christmas and I don’t care if anyone around me is offended.”
I celebrate Christmas. And I was offended by her.
Please, I beg of you, people of earth: stop immediately explaining your justification for saying Merry Christmas directly after it’s said. It negates the word ‘merry’ on every occasion. And pardon me, but why are you allowed to diminish anyone else’s holiday observance in the same breath as saying yours is so merry?
When I ripped by overworked debit card out of the machine this afternoon and told the cashier, “Merry Christmas!” I looked her directly in the eye, with a smile on my face and in my eyes and genuinely hoped this holiday season was as fulfilling for her as it is for me. I meant it. Things I didn’t mean: 1) “I hope you celebrate Christmas and no other holiday because my beliefs are more founded than yours.” 2) “You offend me with your religion, but don’t be offended by me shoving mine in your face.” 3) “Get out of my country” (by the way, until you monetarily own the entire nation known as Canada, STFU with this shit.) 4) “I am an ignorant bitch.”
I wish you a Merry Christmas. Because I mean it. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I want you to have a fantastic holiday filled with whatever makes you the most happy and none of what makes you sad. I mean that.
Hey you? Yeah, yeah you there. Thanks for all you give me throughout the year. Coming here, reading my words and perhaps identifying with one or two. It’s the greatest gift. I adore you, I honestly do.