Do you know what’s happening on New Years Eve?

Aside from the following things I mean: 1) I will be getting drunk and taking a cab home, like a mothafuckin boss,  2) my friend got a Concoction Maker from her dad for Christmas. It’s twice as awesome as it even sounds, trust me,  3) we have wicked awesome mustaches on sticks & huge glasses & party hats & therefore a photo booth set up (umm…yes, motherfuckers, yes we fricken DO!),  4) there will be dancing. Competitive dancing.

Which leads me to the reason for this post…because, since this competitive dancing will be happening on the television, THIS will be happening somewhere in it’s vacinity:

Fig 1: Ryan's brain exploding

Because this time of year is festive for Ryan without the presents and bows and togetherness and booze…it’s also Ryan’s most celebrated season: IIHF World Junior Hockey Championships.

And on Saturday? Team Canada vs. Team USA.

<brain meltdown imminent>

Now Ryan enjoys many things on this planet. Friends. Family. Shenanigans. Playing sports. Half Pound Reese Peanut Butter Cups (<- it’s a real thing). Beer. Hunting. Shreddie Snacks. The Sex. But above all else…yes, maybe even above The Sex…Ryan bleeds Team Canada red. And the Junior team has his heart above all others. This tournament has served to change his work schedule, our family functions, where we eat dinner & when and how fast bedtime goes down.

Ryan is very respectful of international play…except when it comes to the Americans. There is a special place in Higgy Hockey Hell for Team USA. So when we play them? Utmost attention and respect is to be given to the broadcast- or prepare for Higgy Death Stare.

And thus, my prediction.

While the rest of us party and drink and laugh and schmooze on New Years Eve 2011/12, between the hours of approximately 8:30pm and 11:30pm, you will find my husband in the following precarious position:

Fig 2: For your 3" viewing pleasure

And hell and damnation if it’s a close game.

And shutyourfuckingwhoremouth about winner vs loser predictions.


Happy New Year, Team Canada.

Please don’t fucking blow this for me.


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