Never. (a marriage rule)

At my urging, Ryan & I have decided to ‘reward’ ourselves in 2012 with tattoos. Yes Mom/Dad/Gramma I said I’m getting a tattoo…I’ve pushed three of your granddaughters out of my nether-regions and have since raised them to be upstanding citizens (for the most part) get off my damn back already. It will be my first & Ryan’s third.

Ryan, the ultimate patriot, has a Team Canada hockey symbol on one shoulder. As a lover of Egyptian mythology, he has an ankh on the other shoulder. He wants to build a kind of half-sleeve off the ankh he’s already got. And he wants to make it about his family.

::full freaking stop::

<tires screeching, hands upraised, terrified look on face>

Alicia’s Ultimate Marriage Rule: thou shalt not tattoo my name on your body. Ever.

Listen, I love my husband. I fully plan on him being my husband long after my dying breath. He wears a wedding ring, which has now left a permanent dent in his finger so he’s wearing-it-when-he’s-not-even-wearing-it. We are firmly entrenched in this marriage business. But I have this completely superstitious belief that tattooing your spouse’s name on your body is like a kiss of death.

I should say now that my tattoo also will be about my family.* But will have no direct mention of Ryan at all.

*No, I won’t tell you what I’m getting. It’s kind of like a baby’s name…what if you steal it? It’s totally awesome, so you totally would.

If you are reading this while staring at your elegantly scrawled husband’s name in ink on your shoulder, do not take this to mean I think your marriage is on it’s last legs. Your neuroses might be completely different than mine, and you are perfectly thrilled with your tattoo decision. High fives to you. And I wish I could be more like you.

But the “Wino Forever” Johnny Depp story rings in my damn ears every time I think of matching husband and wife tattoos. So in our house, the kids are fair game. Go ahead and get that “I love my Mom” cupid heart. A mermaid? It’s a little weird, but hey it’s your body so get on with your bad self! Cartoon character, flower, hockey team, gum on a shoe: these are all passable things to me. But never ever my name. Never ever my initials. Never ever some nickname you’ve given me. If there’s some Egyptian symbol for “wife” I’m perfectly fine with Ryan permanently decorating his body with that…so long as it’s generic.

It seems kind of backwards, I know. I want him to run screaming through the streets, “I LOVE ALICIA!!” but I’d be horrified if he had that emblazoned on his body. I can’t really explain it other than to say in this respect I’m wildly superstitious.

Do you agree?

Do you have your spouse’s name tattooed on you?

Are you still married?

HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?! (<- I’m kidding, but genuinely curious if I’m a neurotic when it comes to this or if I’m part of some crazy exclusive club…)

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13 thoughts on “Never. (a marriage rule)

  1. Jason and I both agree that, in general, names on bodies are stupid. It’s pretty much the only thing on which we agree, but it’s pretty big. I won’t get his name and he won’t get my name and we won’t get our own names.

  2. I have 9 pieces of ink- two are the kids names and the others are all meaningful in some regard, but no matching tattoos for me and the Mr! I’m not quite as neurotic about it as he is, but have enough respect for things unseen not to chance it. :)

  3. I agree with you on this, tattooing your spouse’s name on your body is a bad omen. I’ve never heard of anyone doing it and staying together. P.s some friendly advice which I’m sure you already know, take our time with your idea.

  4. Legally – still married. Emotionally – not for over a year now. Do I agree, no question about it – see first two sentences!! can’t wait to see it though!

  5. I got a tattoo on my ribs just before our 1 year wedding anniversary. I didn’t want to get my husbands name either so I got the hebrew words “ezer kenegdo.” It means counterpart, help meet, sustainer beside him. When God created Eve from Adams rib (hence the rib location) this is how he described her. So, for my husband without looking trashy ;) Oh! And yes, we are still married, but you knew that, what with the babe on the way and such.

  6. I have a tattoo dedicated to my daughter on my ankle – interwoven in the pattern are my initials and my husband’s initials (most people can’t even notice this unless I point it out to them). Him: “but what if we get divorced one day, then what?” Me: “you’ll always be her dad, that will never change” – so I guess that’s how I felt about that, lol.

  7. Mike’s middle name is Clifford (go ahead and laugh – everyone does) so I have a Clifford the Big Red Dog that is incorporated to a tattoo I had before. In exchange my middle name is Dawn so he has an arm band with the sun rising out of it. It’s not each other’s name blaring out on each other’s body, but there is the meaning behind it. Now I just want to incorporate the kids into it somehow too :)

  8. I agree. Never will get K and he won’t of me. We both will have them with kids names. My plan was one for my bday this year but can’t now because of second kid. Guess I will get both.

  9. No names on my body, nor will there ever be.
    I have one that says mom, got it when she died.
    Getting too old for tattoos. lol
    A couple of them, wish I never had. Oh well. :)

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